Marshfield Visit

This weekend I had the opportunity to travel back to Marshfield to visit with friends and family.
I had a wonderful time.
I had lunch with Grandpa Sheahen and Pat. I even gave him a copy of this blog...from start to now.
I had it made into a hardcover book. I know he's never going to be able to go online and read this, so I thought I would bring it to him.
I don't think he made it though the first page before he started to cry...which was totally not my intention.
I felt bad, but he said he was happy I gave him such a beautiful gift. The bath robe and pj's though-he wasn't too sure about. :)
Also...

I went out with some friends from High School and ran into a lot of people. Of course, I had the occasional talks about my Dad.
Sad at times, but still nice to reminisce. Yes, I controlled my emotions and only got teary-eyed once throughout the course of the night.
I do appreciate all the hugs, thoughts, and kind words. Please continue to keep my Dad's memory alive.
At my Mom's we all had a nice cry at different times of the day on Christmas Day. I even had a nice chat with Carol (Dad's girlfriend) on the phone.

Of course, a visit to the cemetery was in order. Although, I was dreading this...I need to do it. Husband and kids in the car, we started up the path. Keep in mind, my baby was sleeping, and our oldest did not know what a cemetery is. We decided not to explain that yet. He's had to endure enough with this whole odeal. So, he thought we were looking at Christmas lights and Christmas flowers! (In the middle of the afternoon ;) Turning into the cemetery, I remembered when my Dad got litteraly stuck there on evening after visiting my Grandma Sheahen's gravesite. No Joke! I thought the same thing was going to happen to us! Here we are in our minivan slowly driving to his gravesite...hoping not to slide on the ice, or get stuck on the non plowed path-gotta love that!

Well, we made it! Only to discover that my Dad's spot was literally buried in the snow! And...Guess who forgot the shovel! So, I said a few prayers, wiped my tears, and called my brother and told him to get up here with a shovel. Dad would never have it that way!

That's about it.


Thanks again for the continued family and friends support.

Ken, (from my Dad's class) if you are reading this, thank you for the Christmas Card-it made my day!

Happy New Year! Hope all have safe travels.

1st Christmas without Dad

So here it is....Christmas Day. A day of celebration, love, laughter, and wonderful time with family. I miss Dad more than ever at this time. I figured this Christmas would be hard, but I did not anticipate another loss that is making this time more difficult.

I had quite the busy week, and just recently suffered another loss of a dear friend and co-worker. I attending her Memorial this week.

Sad, and hard...opening up the wounds and pain from the loss of my Dad. My friend too, was young, and had been fighting cancer on and off for 7 years.

She knew she was dying, and even planned her own Memorial.

Anyhow, this started the week off with sadness and more thoughts of the dreadful day that Dad passed away.

I can still picture him taking his last breath. So bitter sweet for me. No more suffering and pain for Dad...Free from all this hospital chaos.
But a new chapter in my life has begun, and I am still adjusting to that simple fact that I don't have my Dad physically anymore.

Christmas time is hard...being around family...seeing people with their Dad's in church...etc.
All things that make me think of my Dad.

I even saw a younger guy at Burger King last night, that resembled my Dad in his high school days. I am not kidding. I did laugh to myself, and couldn't help but to think of him.

You see, that's what happens. Little things like that make me think of him.

I prayed tonight in chuch, for my Dad. I prayed for his continued watch and guidance over my family and I.

I know he was with me and I even teared up during some of the lovely Christmas tunes.

Well, off to help "Santa". We are last minute folks around here.

Merry Christmas!

Refreshed from a Sheahen fam visit!

I am excited to report that I had a very nice visit this past weekend with my Aunt Dar (my Dad's sister) Uncle Harold (my Dad's Uncle), Grandpa Sheahen, and Pat.
We had a nice dinner and went bowling with the kids. It was nice to do something will everyone. This was the first time we got together with some of Dad's side of the family since the funeral.

I had lots of good laughs, and it a happy day to be around some of my Dad's family. I felt close, warm, and comforted, just by the day.

It's amazing sometimes, how little things go a long way!

I felt guilty not being able to visit longer. After an hour at the restaurant, my kids were turning into wild animals, and it wasn't good. Hence, the visit to the bowling alley...always a good source of entertainment.

Dad, however was not a fan of bowling, but would have loved to watch the kids bowl. He said that bowling wasn't a "real" sport. I remember the first time I told him my husband was in a bowling league. He laughed so hard. He would probably laugh even harder now, if he knew I was in one too!

Dad,
I still miss you and think of your everyday.
I wonder what you are up to?
I have lots of questions for you, and look forward to asking them to you someday. Please continue to guide me and my family, and keep looking out for us. I know you are around. We love and miss you so much!

Another reminder

Yesterday, while subbing in phy ed I went over to the bin of basketballs. I started handing out a basketball to each child, not thinking about much of anything. Then, almost out of nowhere, I came across a refereeing shirt scrunched up at the bottom of the bin.
Ahhhhhhhh....Dad, another reminder.

It's little things like this that are starting to make me smile.

Small reminders of my Dad, that seem to pop up when I am least expecting them. Things like this can totally turn my day around, and/or put a smile on my face.

Now that the holidays are so close, I find myself missing my Dad and thinking about what the holidays will be like without him.

I've always missed him since he has passed, so I still have those feelings, but during the holidays it's a deeper kind of miss.

Dad invented our annual gift exchange-too save some $ of course, but at any rate, this was always a blast.

Katy, Sam, and I all put our names in a hat, along with Dad and Carol, and we exchanged names. We always said we'd never tell who we had, but by the end of that gathering, everyone knew who they had! :)

MY faith has been renewed!

I am happy to note not only am I refreshed from our mini family vacation...I am spiritually feeling much better.

We took our kids to lots of Halloween Happenings-I started to get sad because of course I missed Dad again.

We took our kids to a hotel in Madison with a pool and waterslide, and had a relaxing and fun filled couple of days...I also spent some time mini golfing at the best mini golf course ever. The VITENSE Golfland-http://www.vitense.com/miniature.asp

My Dad would have loved this place. It was unbelievable! Indoor and outdoor mini golf, driving range, golf course,batting cages, a climbing wall, and more! What a scene!

My kids loved it. We took so many pictures.

I will ad some tomorrow probably. Just a riot. I wonder if my Dad has ever been there?

We did the indoor and outdoor mini golf course...we chose the Wisconsin Course-outdoor. It was great! The kids loved it so much-we went back a second day!

But, more importantly

First off, I received an email from on of my Dad's classmates Ken last week. This made my day, or week for that matter.

Ken reminded me that "Faith" is something that we have to believe in...if we were given answers to the unknown...then there really wouldn't be "Faith" anymore. He couldn't have been more right.

Thank you for taking the time out of your day, to take the time to read this blog, and to send me an email. That simple gesture meant a lot, and made me think a bit differently.

I went to Mass today-in fact, this was the first time I have been back-since my Dad has passed away. I know, I am not proud to admit this, it has been the longest I have gone without going to Mass, but like I said before-I was just having lots of doubts, sadness, and questions, and wasn't ready to accept what had occurred.

Although I am not sure I will ever be 100% okay with the fact that my Dad has passed away.

Today at Mass-I listened closely. It was almost like our Priest was speaking right too me. This Mass was just what I needed. I am not trying to sound all "Holy Roller" or anything, but I left having a great sense of Peace.

Here's what he said during the Homily...

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten
will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations
and jealousies will finally disappear.
So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists will expire.
The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won't matter where you came from
or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.
It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter?
How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought
but what you built, not what you got but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success
but your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned
but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity,
compassion, courage, or sacrifice
that enriched, empowered or encouraged others
to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence
but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew,
but how many will feel a lasting loss when your gone.

What will matter is not your memories
but the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered,
by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.
It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.

Death is not the end, but a beginning of a new life. We should have Peace in knowing that some day, we will be with our loved ones again, and more importantly, we will be one with God. I was always taught this, but it just made sense when I heard it in Mass.

Sometimes, it takes a ton of bricks, I know :) but in any case, I am thankful I went to Mass today. I am glad I heard what I needed to hear. I even held back some tears as I listened.

I am not "healed" or "over it" by any means, but I am feeling more at peace now.

One other exciting note from the weekend...
Sam (my brother) has decided to go back to school! He started tech school but decided it wasn't for him, and went to the work force part way through-when after high school.

Dad, I know you had a hand in this somehow! Thanks! I know you are probably laughing and crying tears of joy.

Yea for a happy weekend!

Questions

Everyday I miss my Dad, but some days are worse than others.

Today, I miss him a lot!

It was Trick or Treating day here-and I would love to have had him here to come trick or treating with us. That's something he never got to do.

I remember as a kid, he took us...walked along on the sidewalk-just hanging out...laughing at all the crazy costumes.

My kids were cute today. Collin was Thomas the Train, and Alex, was Spiderman. It was unbearably cold and miserable, but the kids still managed to have a great time.

Dad would would have laughed because we were having all this fun in the cold, rain.

I think about him everyday...wondering what he's up to. I still wonder if he is okay. My faith has really been tested throughout this whole ordeal. I am ashamed to admit, that I am slowly drifting away...asking questions...wanting signs. I just need to know Dad's okay.

I know this is something that Dad would not appreciate hearing. He raised us to be good Catholics. I have good morals, values, etc...but I just can't explain why I am questioning different parts of my faith.

I need some sort of concrete evidence knowing that Dad's okay. I wish he could just write me a note, or leave me a message somehow.

I know I really don't need this, but this is how I am feeling. My heart still aches for my Dad and my mind still has a lot of questions.

This is probably all part of the grieving process...or at least I hope this is.
I am not asking to feel this way-especially about my faith.

One other thing-I am angry that people take their parents for granted. It angers me that my Dad is not hear anymore, and when I hear people complain about their Mom or Dad...I just tell them-you don't know how lucky you are to have that person still here.

Life does seem a little unfair, even though-I know...that's how the ball rolls...when it's your time...it's your time.

Time might help me understand and heal-I know, but his whole deal is too fresh, and too real.

In any case, that's where I am at now. A reassuring note from the other day-my 4 year old said, "Mom, did you see Grandpa Sheahen?? He was hanging upside down in the clouds??" I almost fell over-because who knows...maybe he really saw him.

I responded calmly, "You are right, Alex, Grandpa is in Heaven now." And-I continued on with my day-wiping a tear from my eye.

Wishing you were here!

Ok so the CUBS are out of the Playoffs, the economy sucks, and it's almost time to vote again. All things I would love to hear my Dad talk about right now. I have also started painting my basement-Dad, I would love to have you come over and watch :)

UGH! Still sad, and angry, that you are gone. I know it has not been that long...

I am having plenty of reminders though...

The other day, I saw his car at my Mom's, and I could still picture him leaning against it having a moe.

I see your clothing and belongings everyday-I am still not quite ready to get rid of things. Sometimes my kids wear your hats or sunglasses around the house. Alex loves digging though Grandpa's treasures.

I ran in to Carol (his girlfriend) at Kohls the other day-during on of the Cubs playoff games-and she had a Cubs shirt on. We hugged and talked for a bit. Then, I went to the van and cried.

I have been doing better, and have not been so emotional, but some things just have that effect. Sometimes, just a simple hymn in church brings me to tears.

One more thing... Katy got pulled over for speeding when we left Mom's today-and yes, she didn't get a ticket. I know, my Dad would just laugh.

1 month ago

What a month!
After the funeral...I told myself...life will go on without Dad, but it will never be the same. I can go on, and will go on, and grow from this experience.
It's been difficult at times...
Hearing my oldest son tell people that his Grandpa has died. Cleaning out Dad's room-the second hardest thing I have ever done, since saying goodbye to my Dad.
Did you know...my Dad had over 20 Cubs shirts??? Tons of golf polos..some with little to no wear! I was impressed to even find some dress shirts and ties! We had some nice laughs going though the items.
Going through everything that he saved was a task-in fact...I have 3 bins in my garage that I still need to look through. Believe it or not, the hardest thing for me to see was his calendar. Although it did not always appear that way-he was organized.
It was hard for me to look through his calendar at all the dates he has already had plans on...games to referee, umpire, watch, meetings to attend, etc. I realized that he was not done with life in so many ways...he has so many plans! He had these plans: work, games, etc...but even more importantly, he looked forward to continually being there for us-his family, and those he cared about the most.
I has been a month...
I know now that...
The thank you notes are written, no more sympathy cards in the mail, no more phone calls showing concern, not too many people still ask about Dad...people are moving on. Most people probably moved on-right after the funeral. I am not saying this in a bad or cold way. I am just trying to state a fact. Everyone grieves in their own way. I am sure people are still thinking of him, and us.
We just have the daily reminder-I see his picture in my living room, the cross from his casket, hanging in my house...etc.
Alex, my 4 year old has been wearing one of his Chicago Bears baseball hats...and a pair of his sunglasses! Everywhere he goes-someone comments on that darn hat! "OH little by, how can you be a Bears Fan?" I just have to laugh...he has no clue...and just responds...it was my Grandpa Sheahen's hat...he's in Heaven and he gave it to me.

The truth is I am still sad-and will miss my Dad forever!

We made a special trip to Wrigley field last Sunday, just for our Dad.


The Cubs game some friends of mine sent us too on Sunday afternoon-provided me with a great sense of closure and peace! This gift of generosity was just what we needed! We are so greatful we had this opportunity. We sat together as sibblings and laughed, talked, and joke, in honor of our father. I will be forever thankful for this memorable day!
I saw so many things that reminded me of Dad-even the Albert Pujols joke my husband told my Dad while he was in the hospital that made him laugh so hard ;) Even dealing with all this, Dad laughed at this joke.
Riding the train from Skokie...lots of time to think about Dad and his love for the Cubs. Even my phone call to Sam-and he informed me he was having lunch at the Oasis-which Dad would say was way to expensive to eat at!

My siblings and I had a great time at the game-we were able to bring our spouses too-and Sam brought a buddy with him, which was very nice too.



One month ago today, Dad passed away. It's hard to believe it's been a month. They say time heals...I believe that.

Dad,
I am sorry about this situation, circumstance, and outcome. I never in a million years thought I would be writing this blog about you. You meant more than words can say to me, and a lot of people.

Your kids miss you. Your grandkids miss you. Carol and Mom misses you! YOUR ENTIRE family misses you.

Rest assured that you will never be forgotten. Your words and wisdom will be with us always!
WE LOVE YOU!

Funeral and Festivities!

First off, a big huge thank you goes out to ALL who were a part of celebrating my Dad's life yesterday!

The touching day, will forever be remembered. Lots of hugs shared, and tears off sadness, but also a time of remembering my Dad's, "famous-ness"

Hansen Funeral Home went above and beyond to make sure everything was perfect! We could not have done this better ourselves!

The flowers were beautiful! Lots of Cubs themed stuff-beautiful flowering plants, green plants, and lush flowers! We loved all of them!

The dvd photo presentation was excellent. We had lots of Dad's sports photos and high school mementos (Thanks to some of this classmates and friends, and Carol for bringing his yearbooks)-Which by the way provided me with entertainment to read on the long drive home.

The "Viewing"-Lots of people came-Family members, friends, classmates, teachers, some of my Dad's players he once coached, people from my graduation class, family friends, old neighbors, relatives, co-workers, even the lady who worked at/owned the restaurant my Dad went to almost every morning for breakfast in Waupaca! I am sure I am missing some categories here, but I think you get the idea! It was wonderful seeing eveyone, meeting "new" people, and hearing how they were connected to my Dad.

To give you a sense of the crowd, the guest book only had one page left in it.

Thanks to all for the comforting embraces, and words of kindness. We appreciate the support.

His prayer card had the Serenity Prayer-Of course with the Cubs theme and his picture.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

The Eulogy was perfect! Mike Varney, you did a wonderful job. The memories you shared will never be forgotten-lots of laughs and tears! I even learned some things about my Dad too!

The Mass was very spiritual and blessed. Father Don did an excellent job! The hymns were perfect too. I'm sure Dad loved every moment.

After the Mass, we proceeded to the baseball field-where we started the afternoon celebration! The weather was beautiful! We started the festivities with singing, "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"-with my Dad's favorite, Hary Caray, singing it! We all sang along.

We feasted on hotdogs, chips, and ballpark treats, chatted with friends and family, and shared more memories of Dad. People could come up and share a story about Dad. This was such a great memorial tribute!

Mike Varney, even played a variety of Cubs highlights, over the loudspeaker as a tribute! This was truly a memorable day.

Some people even wore their Cubs, or baseball apparel! We loved the Titleists baseball hats too!

Thanks again to everyone for everything, the support, the flowers, cards, memorial funds, phone calls, delicious food at the ballpark, and the all around memorable day.

Speaking of food- a Huge thank you goes out to the Marshfield Chaparrals (and whoever else was involved in this) for provided us with EVERYTHING at the ballpark! We truly appreciate your AWESOME DONATION! This is just what Dad would Dad would have wanted!


I am sure I missed something, but will try and think of it all when sending thank you notes.

Thanks again! Your love and support mean more than we can say!

See you at the Ballpark!

I am delighted to share this news with you!

We would like you to come and celebrate my Dad's life at the Ballpark! He would have it no other way!

Everyone is invited to attend our Memorial Celebration at Jack Hackman Field on South Oak Avenue. (Where the Chaps and Legion Play)

Please join us for some socializing and good old baseball game treats-hotdogs, chips, popcorn, soda...after the mass.

Special Thanks to the CHAPS, City of Marshfield/Park and Rec, Hansen Funeral Home-and all other involved in pulling this off!

Dad, would have loved this, and will be honored!

Please, spread the good word!

Dad's Funeral Arrangements

We have decided on Dad's funeral arrangements.

The Visitation will take place on Wednesday August 27th from Noon until 2:00 PM-at Our Lady of Peace Catholic Church in Marshfield, WI.

Mass will be at 2:00 PM-Immediately after the visitation, also at Our Lady of Peach Church in Marshfield.

At this point-we are finalizing the social gathering afterwords.

More info to come-an Full Obituary will be in Tuesday's Edition of The Marshfield News Herald.

Hansen Funeral home is assisting us with arrangements.

The address for Our Lady of Peace (OLP) Church is 1300 W. 5th Street, Marshfield WI 54449

Thank you to all of you for you love and support. We appreciate your thoughtful greetings, messages, etc.

Dad is at peace now

Tonight, at 6:00pm-I watched my Dad take his last breath. I am sad, and relieved at the same time.

As hard as it was to see him go, I know now, that he's looking down at us with a big Sheahen Smile!

We are in the process of determining funeral arrangements at this time.

I will post more-when I know. Thanks so much!

Say a prayer for us tonight. I'll write more later.

As a continuation from before....

It has only been a little over 5 hours since my Dad has passed away, and I miss him already! I am still trying to take this whole thing in-grieve-and get ready for the rest of this process.

Right now, Dad is looking down on us with saying his famous words, "Nobody Panic"-Sam reminded this of me on the phone. I am sure he has already hugged his Mom and is having words with Coach Kroll.

Heck, he is probably having a cigarette! If there is one thing I know about my Dad, it's that he loved us very much, and never would want us to go though all this pain. The good memories will provide me with comfort, and I am so thankful I had words with him in recent days before all this happened. He knows how much his family and friends loved and cared for him.

His legacy will live on forever.

My Dad

Dad,
Thank you for hanging on this long. Nurse Ardis called me that you're not doing so hot today-thanks for deciding to let go on your own. As much as this saddens me, I am happy at the same time.

Yes, I regret to inform you all-my Dad is not doing too hot. The nurses and doctors think the end is near.

I am on my way to the hospital right now.

Everyone, please continue praying-as we still need it. Family is traveling to the hospital as we speak.

Will update later.

And Please...MAY GOD SPEED!

Feeling Sad, but Strong-trying to be okay

Hello

This morning Dad has spiked another fever-Carol called me with an update. We will all be up there with Dad again today.

Thanks again for your continued thoughts and words of support.

We have not all had the time or the energy to respond to everything. Your thoughts and words are truly appreciated.

Lots of people are asking about Dad, and rightfully so. It is hard for us to keep our emotions intact in many cases. We appreciate your understanding. I can't speak for my entire family on how each of us are individually feeling...but what I can tell you is we are all sad. We are are dealing with this as best as we can, given the shocking circumstances.

My Aunt Dar recently told me...Your Dad is always teaching you lessons, and this is another lesson he is teaching me...to be strong, and that I CAN make it though all of this. She's right.

It's been hard to go one with daily activities. Food does not taste the same, going places has been hard, listening to music has been hard, everything reminds me of, Dad.

I would give anything for an opportunity to have him talk to me for just 5 more minutes. I know, even if they say he can't at times-I know he can hear me. I am thanking him and telling him as much as I can during the time I have. Even Sam, just wants 5 more minutes that Dad is okay, and he could hang out with him.

Earlier this week-I made the mistake of sending my sister and brother a voice mail that I received from Dad before he came to the hospital. I prefaced it with, "just thought you want to hear Dad's voice." Sam, didn't listen to that part-and thought my Dad was now okay-I called my Mom and she called Sam, and told him it was an old voicemail. I was devastated. I never meant to hurt Sam, just wanted him to hear Dad's voice.

I seriously listen to my voicemail at least once a day-because I miss my Dad too.

Everyone reading this please do me a huge favor-and if you can-give your Dad an extra hug and tell him how much you appreciate all that he has done.

Thanks again for listening-I will write more after I visit with Dad today.

Met with Doctors

We met with doctors today-and they gave us the whole ordeal.


Dad is very, very sick. Right now his heart is only functioning at 10%. He is now septic, and is fighting a lot of infection.

Our family asks that you would keep us in your thoughts. Again, at this time, please no visitors.

We are praying for an answer.

Dad's not getting better

I am sad and frusterated. We tried so hard to get my Dad better. We did all the right things, but
Dad's condition is not improving.
We are meeting with the doctor today-the entire family to make some decisions.

Please keep us in your thoughts.

Early Friday AM update

Goodmorning,
Well, Dad made it though the night, which as he would say was "key" at this point. The nurse last night explained that he has bacterial pnemonia which on the plus side-is easier to treat than viral pnemonia. He also has bacterial e-coli in his lungs, and is being treated with a very aggressive antibiotic.

When everyone left last night (Sam, Katy, Mom, and Carol)-the very blunt nurse said the making it though the night thing (last night) would be critical.

All of these "other things" e-coli, pnemonia, etc...are making this even harder for Dad to fight, but he's fighting. We all know that.

We want to be with Dad all the time-Everyday, and it's been hard. Carol-Thanks for being there for Dad too. Thanks for leaving work early, and being there for long hours. Thanks for taking time off...and being there for support.
Katy and I have families of our own-
Katy has Brody-5 months and Natahsha-6 years. I have Collin-17 months, and Alexander-4 years. We both have loving and caring husbands-who are hanging in there too.
Mom and Carol-both work fulltime.

If you ad travel time in here too-the whole thing is exhausting. Oh, how I crave normalcy. I'm not always a patient person-that's the Sheahen in me-but in this case I will be.

Katy and Carol are going to be up by him today. Katy called me early this AM-sad and tired-we all are. She stayed in a hotel in Appleton with her fam. She has to drive an hour and 1/2 each way to see Dad-and she's nursing her 5 month old, and usually works nights at Riverview Hospital in Wisconsin Rapids.

Mom and Sam, thanks for making the long trek last night too--from Rapids and Marshfield. Dad appreciates the support. Mom, thanks for giving Sam a ride-thanks for answering your phone all day at work too-and holding it together at work through all of this.

Everyday, is a new day, and we all face new challenges. We continue to believe that Dad is strong and can do this because we know he would have it no other way.

Thanks for listening and reading-will update more later-with more news.

Thursday PM Update

I just got back home from a very long, exhausting day in the ICU with Dad. Unfortunately, Dad has pnemonia, and is fighting some sort of bacterial infection. They are aggressively treating him with antibiotics in his central line.(definition thanks to the internet)-Central line: A catheter (tube) that is passed through a vein to end up in the thoracic (chest) portion of the vena cava (the large vein returning blood to the heart) or in the right atrium of the heart.
Central lines have a number of different uses. A central line allows concentrated solutions to be infused with less risk of complications. It permits monitoring of special blood pressures including the central venous pressure, the pulmonary artery pressure, and the pulmonary capillary wedge pressures. The central line can be used for the estimation of cardiac output and vascular resistance. The near end of the catheter may also be connected to a chamber for injections given over periods of months. A central line saves having to have frequent small injections or "drips" placed in the arms. Thankfully, this is now in, and will hopefully help out.

Dad is fighting so hard, and is hanging on. I held his hand, and rubbed his forehead most of the day-trying to reassure him that he was going to be okay soon. Do you know how hard this is, when sometimes, even I don't believe he's going to be okay! I do have those not so good thoughts from time to time, and and trying so hard to think positive! I have faith, and I know my Dad. He isn't ready to go yet. He made this quite clear at the beginning of this whole ordeal.

We had the priest come in too. My Dad recived the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick-it was very touching and peaceful. Dad became a little uneasy when the anointing started because I think it scared him, and he thought, okay-this has to be it...there's a priest in here, but I reassured him and told him we just called for some "back up" because right now we need all the help we can get!

As I mentioned above...I spent the majority of the day with Dad, except when they had to do some things to him that I could not be in the room for. During my trips to the ICU waiting room, I was greated with smiles and hellos, I gave the polite smile back. I tried to occupy myself by calling relatives with updates-Hi to my AZ RELATIVES! Reading the blog! I attempting reading magzines, but everything reminds me of my Dad! I can connect him to a lot of things. Plus, it didn't help that the man sitting across from me in the waiting room had a CUBS shirt on! I counted sealing tiles, evesdropped on conversations, and thought about what my Dad would say at a time like this. Let's hurry up and get this done, the Bears are on TONIGHT! Seriously, in his room before all this happened...that's what he was worried about-where can I find WGN and why the HELL aren't the Cubs on here!? Even eating my turkey sandwich for lunch. I thought of how he would laugh and say-there was no need for the tomatoes to be on that. Of course, there were 4 on my sandwich from the hospital cafe. I threw the tomatoes and lettuce out...Dad thought lettuce was only good on BLT's.

He looks ok-looking past the tubes and tape-I still see my Dad-Good color, peaceful sleeping eyes, and big belly under those covers! His rough, rugged hands a bit swollen, and warm, felt strangely good to hang on to.

The beeps and dings of the ICU room made it hard for my eyes not to wander off those numbers on the machines.

I felt cold and alone, even with Dad there. All of us...Carol, Sam, Katy, and Mom-are taking turns with Dad-sitting by his bedside.

We are all trying to comfort him-assure him everything is going to be ok. We take turns sitting by his side. Carol (his girlfriend), comforts him well into the night. We take turns calling the ICU in the early hours for updates-and passing it along the chain. I even felt angry or jealous at times, everyone around me in that waiting was getting "happy news"-except for me.

I go from being ok, to completely losing it. Dad needs us to be strong, and I try not to get upset in his room.

EXHAUSTING, but Dad would have it no other way. He always says If you belive in something-you have the power to make that happen.

Thinking of that brings me to one of his favorite movies

I'll leave you with a happy quote from the movie.

[Archie's at bat and is almost hit by the pitcher's throws, twice] Archie Graham: Hey ump, how 'bout a warning? Clean-shaven Umpire: Sure, kid. Watch out you don't get killed.

*one more thing-Fred and (Waupaca buddies) thanks for the wonderful uplifiting cards-we found at the nurses desk this AM.

Thanks for listening, EVERYBODY! Keep sending the love and prayers!

Not good news Again

Early this morning the ICU nurse called me and said my Dad's heart rate wasn't right again. The rhythm was very off, and his blood pressure was rapidly dropping. They called a code and shocked him. I am heading there soon. Please pray...harder then you have before!

Night Update

I took a day off from visiting Dad today-it was hard, but I had to take my youngest in to see if he had an ear infection.
News from today is from Carol (Dad's girlfriend) and the nurses that I spoke with over the phone.
Carol said they turned Dad's oxygen down to 70% and are going to see how he tolerates this, He had a small fever-that they are treating with antibiotics-because they don't want Dad to get pneumonia.
He is again opening his eyes today. Carol said when she held his hand and talked to him he would open his eyes. Remember, he is not in a coma. They are purposely sedating him right now, so that his heart can get stronger.
They have changed some of his heart medication around-and it seems that his heart is getting stronger...little by little.
There is still a long road-but inch by inch it's a cinch right? Keep up the good work, Dad!

Want to send a Note to Ed?

So I might be going a little crazy on the note thing, but this whole blogging thing is therapeutic to me. I need to get some sleep so I will make this short. Do you have a message for my Dad? Maybe a note to cheer him up, or funny story you remember about him. I am going to make a book for him, and let him know he has all this support. Just add your message to the comment on this note.Thanks so much! Your kind words and thoughts will be greatly appreciated! Those of you who sent notes-could you copy and paste them on the blog? I am trying to get a book started for him. Just ad this to the comment of this blog. Thanks~

Dad, I need you-I wrote this last night

I just finished listening to my old cell phone voice mails my dad left me a few days before he went to the hospital. One, a simple good morning message, and one, a good night message. I am glad I saved them so I can hear his voice.I am just not ready to let my dad go. Today, while at his bedside in ICU...I thought about a lot of things. Why he was there, what he could say if he could talk right now, how much my Dad means to me, and why it's to early for him to die.The game is still on...still time on the clock-don't throw the towel in. I need you! We need you, and you have to be strong!I wrote a list of things I needed him for...Dad I need you to be okay becauseI love you!I need you here for my kids. I want you to watch my kids grow up. You need to help my boys perfect their baseball and golf swings, and their arch for their free throw shot.I want to cook you a meal so you can tell me how bad of a cook you think I am.I need your fatherly advice.I need you to keep telling me how much of a "Sheahen" I am.I need you to call me in the middle of a Cubs game, just so you can tell me how AWESOME the CUBS are.I need you to call me...just because-for those great family updates!I need to see you get yelled at for blowing a call at a game!I need to see you coach-and lose it at the ref!I need you to have a taco eating contest with Katy.I need you to tell me that I drive to fast!I need you to have a conversation with Mom about her E-baying.I need you to laugh violently hard at the joke Steve told you 2 days ago!You need to be strong, and need to continue to fight! We are praying for you constantly. Don't quit now. You always told me never to be a quitter and fight until the end. I see now how important this advice really was.Hang in there DAD!WE LOVE YOU!

Starting from Day one-Here's the story

Starting Thursday August 14th
I decided to write a note on this so I don't have to repeat myself a million times. I know some people will read this and offer support, others will read this and head to the rumor mill, and others will read this and go on with their day. I have one thing to say, to each his own, but please think about a person's feeling before you make your decision.The past few weeks my Dad has been sick. It started when he was hit in the head with a fast ball while umpiring a baseball game. Yes, it's ok to laugh here...I did ;)He was behind the plate, getting a the calls right-like he always does :) He was suddenly hit by a foul ball-right off his mask. He'll tell you it was a 100 mile an hour fast ball, and that he was "rocked". It knocked him to the ground-the pitcher was someone he had once couched, and he felt terrible. Long story short here...he of course had a concussion, and all the nasty symptoms. His girlfriend is a nurse and she told him to go to the doctor, but he felt he has been slowly getting better-keeping food down, not feeling dizzy, etc. So he never saw a doctor.Recently, my Dad has started swelling. (yes, i know he is already on the lbig man size, but not that kind of swelling) He is retaining a lot of water in his legs and ankles. Well, I am not a doctor, but this cannot be good. Believe me, I have gone through all the scenarios, none of which are good, and I don't want to hear what you think it could be.-I KNOW! My sister is almost a nurse, my Dad's girlfriend is a nurse, and I have some medical background. I know that the future doesn't look too good.Please put aside the obvious, we all know my dad is not the picture of health. Smoking 3 packs a day would cause problems in anyone. The point is-we need prayers and support.My Dad was in contact with a lot of people. Some I know, and some I don't. He was very involved in coaching, umpiring, ruffing, etc. Some of us have great memories of him-Coaching at OLP-St. Ned's-when you guys played like 100 games or something after the season ended...coaching chaparrals baseball, let's not forget when he coached my 5th grade basketball team, long, practices, ridiculous, unending line drills, chewing out locker room talks, getting tossed out of a few games, throwing clipboards, the list goes on. We can all laugh about this now, I certainly do.I have a very different set of memories of my Dad. The one's that only his family share-family trips, watching him play ball, playing sports with my Dad in the backyard, dinner at Grandma and Grandpa Sheahen's, seeing the look on my Dad's face when I graduated from college! He was so proud-and I'll never forget the day he walked me down the isle-he cried and said I looked beautiful-and some other very touching things. I remember when he held my first son in his arms, and the similar experience when he held my second son. I saw him last night. Steve and I dove over an hour to see him in Waupaca-where he is now living. He's winded, and tired, looking very warn down, his skin looked a yellow greyish, and he had swollen ankles, feet, and legs. He had to take a break walking up the stairs, and of course he blamed it on his damn sandals!My sister and I, along with my Dad's girlfriend pleaded with him to go to the hospital. I tried everything. I even played the "I don't want to have to tell my children that Grandpa's in Heaven card". He thinks he is getting better-he says he just needs to get his "mojo" back. Finally, at the end of the visit-he agreed-he said he is going to the hospital today...We'll see-I hate to say this, but I will believe it when I see it! Please keep my Dad, and our family in your thoughts and prayers.We appreciate it-you can share you "good" memories of my Dad too-if you want. Thanks for listening.Friday
Friday Aug. 15th
Here's the scoop on my Dad...I want to preface this note by saying I am sad, tired, and overall emotionally drained from the events of today. I will try to explain this the best I can.My Dad arrived at Waupaca ER this AM and was given an Electrical cardioversion. An external defibrillator is used in electrical cardioversion. After you are given a sedative, a doctor places metal paddles or patches on your chest wall. The paddles send an electric current to your heart. The electric current resets your heart rhythm and your heart usually starts in a normal rhythm. His heart was beating way too fast-like he was running a marathon way too long. Because of this-his kidneys and liver have started to not function as well as they should. He also has some fluid in his lungs-causing breathing difficulty. They also found a testicular mass-possibly cancer, but unsure of that yet. He had an An echocardiogram is a test in which ultrasound is used to examine the heart. Based on those results, the doctors will decide when to do a cardiac catheterization-to find out more info on the damaged heart.Because of the organ damage to the kidneys and liver due to the heart failure-he has a long road...we are not really sure the permanent damage yet. He was in severe heart failure when he came in today, and would have for sure been dead by Monday if he had not arrived when he did.It is still touch and go from here. I wish I had more news, but unfortunately there is not much else to tell. Tons of tests need to be done yet. He is in the intensive care unit at the Appleton Medical Center-he needs prayers.As far as visitors are concerned, we ask that people would let him rest. The ICU does not really recommend anyone other then immediate family there. Plus, the room is small and cramped with a lot of equipment. He is the center of attention there. He has the prime spot in front of the nurses station-cameras on him and all.He is definitely in severe heart failure. Right now his heart is only functioning 20-30%He is very sick, and at this point, it could go either way. It's in God's hands. Please pray.Oh and I should add-at this point-he's conscious, and crabby-getting back to his normal self ;) asking for a smoke and some food!Had to throw that in there.Really, the sedatives are starting to wear off, and he was getting antzy when we left.Early Sat. Aug. 16thjust got off the phone with my Dad's ICU nurse, Will-yes, my Dad has a man-nurse-you can bet he's lovin' that ;) On a side note-Will has been happily explaining and updating to me since the start, and I love him for that!I am happy to report that his kidney functions have bounced back and have returned back to normal. Thank God, this set of organs have started pulling their weight. Now, we are waiting to hear from the cardiologist as to when she will be doing the heart cath. Yes, he has a female doctor too. I am sure he thinks the whole doctor and nurse thing is backwards-but in his confused, crabby state, hopefully he'll put his know it all-prejudices aside ;)Some have been wondering what set this whole heart thing off to begin with...Well, we are as perplexed as you are-the doctors don't quite know the answer to that. They are thinking he might have a blockage somewhere, or maybe a simple virus set this off-a long time ago.Remember, I said my Dad has been sick for awhile, but just thought he could shake whatever this was.His stubbornness seems to be the cause of some of this damage, but hopefully, not too permanent. They said most people would not have made it this long. Another reason he was so stubborn about this whole thing is because he is scared, and doesn't want to find out "bad news"-in addition, the doctors said yesterday he was confused, and not in the right state of mind due to his condition...therefore not thinking clearly.So folks, ease up on the blame game here. All obvious aside, he's in the hospital where he should be. He made it though the night, and is progressing, but not out of the woods-by far.We still need thoughts and prayers. Thanks for the support-I'll keep you posted.
Some have been asking where to send cards-His address is(Carol is his girlfriend's name)Carol Cole and Ed Sheahen221 Countryside ct. Waupaca, WI 54981or You can send them to me and I will get them to himCarly Mancl44 Tabbert Ave.Ripon, WI 54971
Later that evening-Out of ICU
Well, we are back from Appleton. Today was a different kind of day. We decided to make it a family day-Steve and I took the boys to the Zoo, the Toys 'R Us, and Olive Garden after we visited my Dad. We needed a family day. As I mentioned in previous posts...it is hard to be a mom, daughter, and wife, at the same time sometimes-plus my kids really missed us over the past few days.My Dad's condition is improving some, but he still has a long road. When visiting with him today, he seemed more alert, and even laughed at a joke that Steve told him.My mom, sister, and brother came today too. I didn't see the look on his face because we only went in the room a person at a time, but I am sure he was overjoyed to see my brother. This was the first time that my brother has seen him since the whole ordeal...same with my Mom. I am sure he appreciated the company-although it was brief because he needs his rest.Health wise-the kidneys are now working-still a huge plus. Liver-still not so good-he is on some medicines now too-for reducing the chance of blood clots, potassium, and a few other health things.He gets to eat now-although I am not sure of his diet, he is loving that whole deal. When I was there he said he was feasting on grapes, toast, and a diet coke!He seems somewhat confused though-we hope this is temporary, but he does have some memory loss.He usually makes sense, but occasionally says something off the wall-like he is getting ready to walk to Waupaca!They are not going to do the heart cath until Monday because the heart is still not functioning like it should. I should ad too-he just got moved out of ICU-so that's a good sign. Well, that's all for now. Thanks for listening-Still need the prayers. He wanted me to say "hello" to everyone.
Sunday-Aug. 17th-great dayDad looked great today. He sat up in a chair and was talkative the entire visit. I'll start with the good news-he's off the oxygen...at least for now. His count was good. His walking is better, and he doesn't look so weak. He walked to the bathroom a few times when I was there, and was able to do it without too much help. He still complains of leg and feet pain-probably due to the swelling. Kidneys and Liver-Today these counts were not too good. We are unsure if the damage is permanent, or only temporary. If/When the heart functions properly this may or may not change.Sometime tomorrow-they are going ahead with the heart cath. Hopefully, we will be provided with more answers then. He is still showing signs of Congestive Heart Failure.Today, he was interested in finding the Cubs game on tv-and watching sports. It was nice to see that again. He did not seem nearly as confused as before, and really seemed to grasp things that were said to him.All for now-thanks for listening-still need prayers.
Monday-Aug. 18thTonight, (Monday Night) I received a phone call that I was dreading...my Dad took a turn for the worst.He went into respiratory failure. Due to the fact his heart is not working right-his lungs started to fill up with fluid. He essentially was drowning due to the fluid in his lungs, and not being able to breathe. Thankfully, his girlfriend was there to see this, and called for a nurse right away.He almost coded. A crash team was in working on him for hours. Now, he is breathing with a ventilator-the ventilator is doing all of his breathing for him.He is in very critical condition.The doctor sounded optimistic about a possible recovery, but right now, it's touch and go.He said it wasn't necessary for us to be at his bedside tonight at least. We all needed rest.Who can sleep at a time like this!He is very heavily sedated..almost in a paralysis...it was medically induced. He occasionally tries to lift his head up, and cough, but does not respond to many stimuli...but that is due to the meds. He did seem to turn his head in the direction we were talking.Mom, Sam, Katy, and I (and our husband's Jay and Steve), along with my Dad's girlfriend Carol were with my Dad tonight.This is tough. It is hard to see my Dad in this shape and condition, because prior to this his condition seemed to be improving.He is in pain, and in rough shape-he seems very irritated by the ventilator, and other tubes.He's definately giving everyone a run for their money.Please pray for him and our family.We really need it.Thanks much,I'll keep you posted!
August. 18th I Just got back from spending the day with my Dad in ICU-not to many changes to tell. He hasn't gotten better or worse-pretty much just stayed the same. They are a bit worried though because of the amt of oxygen he is requiring. The blood work showed that they had to turn the oxygen up again. They are closely monitoring that as well as the occasional rapid heart rate. He looks almost comatose. Laying almost completely still today-he has some involuntary movements. Occasionally, he seems to respond to stimuli-he did so more yesterday, but keep in mind he is heavily sedated...on purpose.He needs to rest and let his heart heal. There is a lot of damage-we are still hanging on to hope.Katy, is up there right now-so if there is more updates-I will tell you later. On a side note...I just finished listening to my old cell phone voice mails my dad left me a few days before he went to the hospital. One, a simple good morning message, and one, a good night message. I am glad I saved them so I can hear his voice.I am just not ready to let my dad go. Today, while at his bedside in ICU...I thought about a lot of things. Why he was there, what he could say if he could talk right now, how much my Dad means to me, and why it's to early for him to die.

Welcome to Ed Sheahen's Progress Blog!

Hello Friends and family,

I have decided to start this blog on my Dad who is in the hospital with very critical health problems. I had something similar to this on facebook, but this way I am able to share notes of progress, news, etc. with those of you who care about my Dad.