One year ago today, you passed away. I can remember that moment like it happened yesterday. I heard your breaths getting weaker, and there was more time in between your breaths. I nervously watched the heart monitor as your vitals dropped. The nurse must have sensed my anxiety, and shut the machine off. Carol began saying prayers and stoking your forehead. Steve held me close, and tears streamed down my cheeks. I was waiting for the moment that you would take your last breath, and then, at 6:00 you let out one last breath. I touched your hand, and lips, of course, you were still warm, and I checked for a pulse, as I looked at your somewhat peaceful looking body. Your skin sunk in, and you lifeless body, seemed to be quickly aging. I cried, and cried, hugging Steve and Carol.
What a day off sadness, and somewhat relief. No more suffering, no more pain, now, you are in peace.
Today, just one year ago-which by the way seems to have gone by real fast....We went to Marshfield for a Mass Grandpa Sheahen had set up in your name at OLP. The whole fam was there, and Dar and Tom came from AZ-they were visiting fam in the area, and Uncle Harold came too. Of course, Kate and her fam, Sam, Mom, and my fam and I was there too. Saw a few other regular church goers that knew you too.
After the mass, we headed up to the cemetery. My kids found entertainment jumping over gravestones, and running around. It was happy and sad. There was tears and laughter at different points of our visit there.
I tried to be composed because my kids were there, but that didn't last when I saw Sam and Mom embracing and crying.
Afterward, we enjoyed our a traditional meal at Crabby Daves-which I know you would appreciate!
I had a turkey Sammy in your honor, but you probably wouldn't have loved because it was on a croissant, and it had honey mustard on it!
It was nice seeing everyone, sharing memories, and thoughts of you was defiantly the highlight!
I was happy to see Dar and Tom too-and Aunt Dar, thanks for still reading this blog! :)
I will come and visit someday. I look forward to seeing you guys, Mary, the kids, your grandkids, and everyone!
Thanks for the visit!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Today it all started just one year ago...
Well here we are one year to the day that my Dad went to the hospital to find out what was wrong. I am full of sadness, as I reflect back upon those 9 days. What a roller coaster ride. Some ups, but a lot of downs. I went back and read the blog that I so religiously kept. The late night updates, full of emotion and love. I held on to everything that I could, for as long as I could. My faith, strength, and overall being was tested.
I miss Dad today and everyday, some days more than others. I try not to let my emotions get the best of me.
This blog has been my therapy and a great place to vent and reflect.
First and foremost, I want to thank my family. What a lot for a family to go through. I know we aren't the only ones, but at the time, it really felt like we were. The support and love I have received is not forgotten, and is appreciated.
I want to thank everyone for their continued thoughts and prayers.
This year has been full of greatness and love and I am thankful for that.
I have learned a lot though this entire process, but probably the most important lesson is to love and appreciate your loved ones because life is too short.
I miss Dad today and everyday, some days more than others. I try not to let my emotions get the best of me.
This blog has been my therapy and a great place to vent and reflect.
First and foremost, I want to thank my family. What a lot for a family to go through. I know we aren't the only ones, but at the time, it really felt like we were. The support and love I have received is not forgotten, and is appreciated.
I want to thank everyone for their continued thoughts and prayers.
This year has been full of greatness and love and I am thankful for that.
I have learned a lot though this entire process, but probably the most important lesson is to love and appreciate your loved ones because life is too short.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Thoughts and Reminders
Today is just another day in most people's lives. Well for me it is too. It starts out like most days when I wake up, do the morning routine, and things are comfortably the same. Then, it happens...something remind me of my Dad. This happens a lot and it either send me into a smile thinking of him, or tears missing him...
Last night, it was the fact that my new puppy had an accident and I was shaking my head while cleaning up dog poop. Potty training a dog hasn't been fun. I would rather potty train 10 toddlers to 1 dog-no joke!
Well, I couldn't help but to think of what Dad would say-and the laugh he would have had over the whole ordeal.
Yesterday, it was heading towards Waupaca to have some end of summer fun at a friend's lake house.
I could go on and on about these moments. It's hard to believe it's almost been a year since my Dad has passed away.
Sometimes it seems slow, and other times, the time has passed fast.
I am thankful for those that are still here. I love my family very much and have been trying to make more of an effort to show that they are appreciated.
I will always encourage others to do the same as well.
Last night, it was the fact that my new puppy had an accident and I was shaking my head while cleaning up dog poop. Potty training a dog hasn't been fun. I would rather potty train 10 toddlers to 1 dog-no joke!
Well, I couldn't help but to think of what Dad would say-and the laugh he would have had over the whole ordeal.
Yesterday, it was heading towards Waupaca to have some end of summer fun at a friend's lake house.
I could go on and on about these moments. It's hard to believe it's almost been a year since my Dad has passed away.
Sometimes it seems slow, and other times, the time has passed fast.
I am thankful for those that are still here. I love my family very much and have been trying to make more of an effort to show that they are appreciated.
I will always encourage others to do the same as well.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Alex is 5 today!
Today, Alex turned 5. I remember that day like it was yesterday. It's hard to believe 5 years have passed.
Tonight was a fun family night. Mom and Natasha came for a sleepover.
Tomorrow, a fun birthday party planned. Poolside fun at a hotel. I am excited.
Dad, you are in my thoughts as always. Another fun time with the fam, but still missing you. I know how much you enjoy those family gatherings...lol!
Seriously, I know you did love seeing the kids though.
Miss ya terribly and love you too! Goodnight!
Tonight was a fun family night. Mom and Natasha came for a sleepover.
Tomorrow, a fun birthday party planned. Poolside fun at a hotel. I am excited.
Dad, you are in my thoughts as always. Another fun time with the fam, but still missing you. I know how much you enjoy those family gatherings...lol!
Seriously, I know you did love seeing the kids though.
Miss ya terribly and love you too! Goodnight!
Friday, July 3, 2009
Long time, no post-busy summer
Long time no posts...I know.
Busy times around here-summer is in full swing. Between running Alex to summer school, swimming lessons, soccer, or softball; my summer is flying by!
Father's Day came and went-I felt sad that day as expected. Probably more so because it was my 1st Father's Day without my Dad.
My family celebrated Father's Day a week later taking a trip to the Madison Zoo and Vitense mini golf course. We had a great day trip. It was nice getting away. For the kids, I think the mini golf was the highlight of the trip. I have mentioned this before, but that place is amazing. I always think more of my Dad when we do things that I know he would appreciate. Having a mini golf course, was always a passion of his...of course with that, the batting cages, driving range, etc.
Someday, when I am rich and famous, I would love to build one, in honor of him! Speaking of rich and famous...
I need to get Dad a headstone. I need to and will when we can afford one. Actually, I need to check into it more. It's just one of those things that I have been putting off. For what a funeral costs, those damn things should be included in the price. Thankfully, we recieved lots of help with the funeral costs! I haven't forgotten that generosity!
Onward...
Well, tonight we just got back from the fireworks....fun times as well. The kids had a blast-sparklers and all.
Tomorrow, it's off to a friend's lakehouse for a day on the lake...should be fun too.
Sunday, a visit with my Mom, sister, and brother, which I am looking forward too! A LOT!
Ah, love my family!
Speaking of this. Sam came to one of Alex's softball games last weekend. He was close for country USA, and decided to come to a game. We met him at the hotel he was staying at. He walked out in the parking lot, and looked so much like Dad. No one said a word. We just smiled and continued on to the game.
Dad, you would have loved to have been there, like always.
Miss you tons, and still love you, like when you were here!
Busy times around here-summer is in full swing. Between running Alex to summer school, swimming lessons, soccer, or softball; my summer is flying by!
Father's Day came and went-I felt sad that day as expected. Probably more so because it was my 1st Father's Day without my Dad.
My family celebrated Father's Day a week later taking a trip to the Madison Zoo and Vitense mini golf course. We had a great day trip. It was nice getting away. For the kids, I think the mini golf was the highlight of the trip. I have mentioned this before, but that place is amazing. I always think more of my Dad when we do things that I know he would appreciate. Having a mini golf course, was always a passion of his...of course with that, the batting cages, driving range, etc.
Someday, when I am rich and famous, I would love to build one, in honor of him! Speaking of rich and famous...
I need to get Dad a headstone. I need to and will when we can afford one. Actually, I need to check into it more. It's just one of those things that I have been putting off. For what a funeral costs, those damn things should be included in the price. Thankfully, we recieved lots of help with the funeral costs! I haven't forgotten that generosity!
Onward...
Well, tonight we just got back from the fireworks....fun times as well. The kids had a blast-sparklers and all.
Tomorrow, it's off to a friend's lakehouse for a day on the lake...should be fun too.
Sunday, a visit with my Mom, sister, and brother, which I am looking forward too! A LOT!
Ah, love my family!
Speaking of this. Sam came to one of Alex's softball games last weekend. He was close for country USA, and decided to come to a game. We met him at the hotel he was staying at. He walked out in the parking lot, and looked so much like Dad. No one said a word. We just smiled and continued on to the game.
Dad, you would have loved to have been there, like always.
Miss you tons, and still love you, like when you were here!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Vacation anyone???
This evening was a bit stressful. The kids were crabby, bedtime was hard, Steve was crabby about work stuff, and it was an all around not so fun evening.
We need a vacation!
Yes, a vacation would be so nice! It's been almost 6 years since we have traveled. I mean like on an airplane, or driven somewhere over 4 hours away.
Let me backup to our last vacation-it was to WI Dells almost a year ago.
Dad and Mom met all of us at Kate and Jay's hotel room at the Kalahari . Fun times...just like old times...the whole fam together again....the first time in a long time...probably since my parent's divorced when I was 17...that we made a family trip like this.
Although, it was just for the evening, it was still great! Dad was in the water too-enjoying watching his grandchildren. He even floated around the lazy river for what seemed like eternity! He was back and forth between that and the wave pool. Oh, and I must not forget heading back up to Kate and Jay's room for a score check on the Cubs game. God forbid he missed any minute of that game! LOL!
Anyhow, just thinking of the memories. Missing my entire family.
We need a vacation!
Yes, a vacation would be so nice! It's been almost 6 years since we have traveled. I mean like on an airplane, or driven somewhere over 4 hours away.
Let me backup to our last vacation-it was to WI Dells almost a year ago.
Dad and Mom met all of us at Kate and Jay's hotel room at the Kalahari . Fun times...just like old times...the whole fam together again....the first time in a long time...probably since my parent's divorced when I was 17...that we made a family trip like this.
Although, it was just for the evening, it was still great! Dad was in the water too-enjoying watching his grandchildren. He even floated around the lazy river for what seemed like eternity! He was back and forth between that and the wave pool. Oh, and I must not forget heading back up to Kate and Jay's room for a score check on the Cubs game. God forbid he missed any minute of that game! LOL!
Anyhow, just thinking of the memories. Missing my entire family.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Another Win for Alex
Just got home from another one of Alex's softball games.
Can't help, but to think of you on these days. I know you would be so proud of Alex. I remember what it was like to have you at our sporting events growing up. I wish Alex had that opportunity too.
He's a hustler, hitter, and a ballplayer. Everything, I know you would be proud of.
I have some peace knowing that you are watching from above, but it's not the same as having you there.
Life is different since you've been gone. Not good, or bad, just different. I would never have anticipated you going so soon, or all my emotions afterward.
I know you know we miss you, and have not forgotten you.
Can't help, but to think of you on these days. I know you would be so proud of Alex. I remember what it was like to have you at our sporting events growing up. I wish Alex had that opportunity too.
He's a hustler, hitter, and a ballplayer. Everything, I know you would be proud of.
I have some peace knowing that you are watching from above, but it's not the same as having you there.
Life is different since you've been gone. Not good, or bad, just different. I would never have anticipated you going so soon, or all my emotions afterward.
I know you know we miss you, and have not forgotten you.
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