So here I am doing my afternoon routine of housework, entertaining my kids, laundry, etc...and again I find myself distracted by the thought of my Dad.
I often wonder...
What are you up to?
What's it like in Heaven?
What are you wearing?
Why did you have to die?
Are you sad?
Are you mad?
These thoughts cross my mind a lot. Today, is one of those days. I had a fun day with my kids at the Fond du Lac Children's Museum. We had lunch at McDonald's with the playland, and I thought of you when I saw a man there reading newspapers, and drinking a Coke with the lid off and no straw, just like you used to do.
Last night, I watched two of my favorite show-Grey's and Private Practice. Both had dying in the plotline. One had organ donation, and life support. The other just had a younger man die. I always think of you when I see this. Steve always asks why I watch these shows if I get so emotional when I watch them. I don't know why...I always do.
Seeing death, even if it's fake and on tv, still reminds me of seeing you. Laying there, almost lifeless, listening to your breathing, the beeping of the machines, watching you age so quickly.
I miss you Dad.
LOVE YOU!
1 comment:
Hang in there Carly. ( Sam & Kate too). I think of Dad real often too, and I can relate to the t.v. show and movie plot lines. The oldies on the radio...that's a tough one for me. There are so many songs that remind me of him. Every time I see Sam, I feel like there's things I need to say now on Dad's behalf. Sam you remind me way too much of your dad...which is alright...just "wise up" like he always used to tell you, and you'll do fine. He always said, "It's in your hands Carol". I don't want it to be in my hands. Everytime I see our grandkids Carly and Katy and all the little milestones with each I think of dad, how he enjoyed them as much as I do. I wish you guys all... and Carol Cole my best in getting through this. I know how hard it is sometimes for me...which I'm sure can't even compare to you kids and her.
Love you kids~and like I said~hang in there.
Love,
Mom :)
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