What a month!
After the funeral...I told myself...life will go on without Dad, but it will never be the same. I can go on, and will go on, and grow from this experience.
It's been difficult at times...
Hearing my oldest son tell people that his Grandpa has died. Cleaning out Dad's room-the second hardest thing I have ever done, since saying goodbye to my Dad.
Did you know...my Dad had over 20 Cubs shirts??? Tons of golf polos..some with little to no wear! I was impressed to even find some dress shirts and ties! We had some nice laughs going though the items.
Going through everything that he saved was a task-in fact...I have 3 bins in my garage that I still need to look through. Believe it or not, the hardest thing for me to see was his calendar. Although it did not always appear that way-he was organized.
It was hard for me to look through his calendar at all the dates he has already had plans on...games to referee, umpire, watch, meetings to attend, etc. I realized that he was not done with life in so many ways...he has so many plans! He had these plans: work, games, etc...but even more importantly, he looked forward to continually being there for us-his family, and those he cared about the most.
I has been a month...
I know now that...
The thank you notes are written, no more sympathy cards in the mail, no more phone calls showing concern, not too many people still ask about Dad...people are moving on. Most people probably moved on-right after the funeral. I am not saying this in a bad or cold way. I am just trying to state a fact. Everyone grieves in their own way. I am sure people are still thinking of him, and us.
We just have the daily reminder-I see his picture in my living room, the cross from his casket, hanging in my house...etc.
Alex, my 4 year old has been wearing one of his Chicago Bears baseball hats...and a pair of his sunglasses! Everywhere he goes-someone comments on that darn hat! "OH little by, how can you be a Bears Fan?" I just have to laugh...he has no clue...and just responds...it was my Grandpa Sheahen's hat...he's in Heaven and he gave it to me.
The truth is I am still sad-and will miss my Dad forever!
We made a special trip to Wrigley field last Sunday, just for our Dad.
The Cubs game some friends of mine sent us too on Sunday afternoon-provided me with a great sense of closure and peace! This gift of generosity was just what we needed! We are so greatful we had this opportunity. We sat together as sibblings and laughed, talked, and joke, in honor of our father. I will be forever thankful for this memorable day!
I saw so many things that reminded me of Dad-even the Albert Pujols joke my husband told my Dad while he was in the hospital that made him laugh so hard ;) Even dealing with all this, Dad laughed at this joke.
Riding the train from Skokie...lots of time to think about Dad and his love for the Cubs. Even my phone call to Sam-and he informed me he was having lunch at the Oasis-which Dad would say was way to expensive to eat at!
My siblings and I had a great time at the game-we were able to bring our spouses too-and Sam brought a buddy with him, which was very nice too.
One month ago today, Dad passed away. It's hard to believe it's been a month. They say time heals...I believe that.
Dad,
I am sorry about this situation, circumstance, and outcome. I never in a million years thought I would be writing this blog about you. You meant more than words can say to me, and a lot of people.
Your kids miss you. Your grandkids miss you. Carol and Mom misses you! YOUR ENTIRE family misses you.
Rest assured that you will never be forgotten. Your words and wisdom will be with us always!
WE LOVE YOU!
